Potty Talk

So we've been blogging for a couple of months now, and some of you have been very kind and have been reading our ramblings from across the world.  I imagine, however, that one thought has been running rampant through your minds for weeks now: what are the bathrooms like?  Calm down for a minute, and I'll tell you all about them.  First of all, our bathroom here is very much like a bathroom you'd find in an apartment at home; shower with a tub, sink with a mirror, toilet you can sit on, and not much more.  Many of the public bathrooms, however, have only one of those things, and it's not the toilet (or the shower, but you already knew that).  At least, not like Western toilets.  You see, these toilets are built into the ground, the idea being that you squat over it and do your business without ever actually touching the bowl.  As weird and gross as it sounds, I've actually read about health benefits to that style of toilet, but we don't need to talk about the efficacy of different methods of waste disposal, do we?  Good.  Here's a picture of a typical bathroom.

Okay, I lied.  This is actually a toilet in one of the nicer restaurants we've been in, so it's probably nicer than might be typical.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Well, that's all well and good, but what do you do with the toilet paper?"  I'm glad that you asked, because that is the most unfortunate thing about using the toilet in Taiwan.  Their plumbing is typically not of the highest quality, and most toilets (really all of the ones we've seen outside of the airport) can't flush toilet paper.  That waste basket that is suspiciously close to the toilet is actually where you put the used toilet paper.  Like I said, it's quite unfortunate.  It's one of the very few things that I never quite got used to doing.  Okay, that's another lie; I totally got used to it, but I kind of wish I hadn't.  I have to remember to completely remove the waste basket from our bathrooms at home to avoid any relapses.

Finally, I'll address the burning question that our male readers have been dying to ask for the totally excessive amount of time that it's taken to read this disgusting post: "Do they have any helpful reminders posted behind the urinals so that I don't embarrass myself, and are they translated to English so that I can benefit from them?"  I'm happy to report that the answer is a resounding, "YES!"  I'll leave you with three of the most helpful urinals that I've encountered in Taiwan.

We have not had betel nuts on this trip, but we've seen many betel nut stands on the sides of roads.  They are often marked by seizure-inducing, multicolored lights and life size pictures of attractive women, and the similarly attractive women that sell them always can be seen sitting in the big window in front of each hut.  From the various descriptions people have given us of what they do, I would guess that they are somewhere between coffee and cocaine.

I found this particularly helpful, as I have a tendency to get complacent with repetitive activities.

If you can't read this one, it says, "Would you stand closer.  Please."
Very direct, although it does force the user to ultimately disobey its simple order, lest they wind up inside the urinal, at which point they have probably caused the very problem the warning was meant to avoid.  Still, I appreciated the politeness.